Advice for Teenage Moms
By the time I was 18 I was a mother of two littles.
As you have read, Aaron was really struggling but we didn't know why.
When he was about 10 months old we found out we were pregnant again.
I really didn't know what to do with this news.
We were having such a hard time figuring Aaron out and now there was another one on the way.
Aaron's dad was in the military leaving me alone a lot with Aaron. We had also moved clear across the country to a place where I knew no one.
How was I going to take care of two babies?
One of the many things I would change looking back is to try and get involved. It takes a village to raise kids and my village was thousands of miles away. The military has many different programs to support their families and instead of joining any, I stayed to myself.
I was so dependent on their dad that when he was away I felt miserable and lonely.
Knowing you are a strong, confident capable mama will really help you in your journey.
If you aren't a part of a military family, join play groups and teen parenting classes and other groups that you enjoy. As a mom you need all the support you can get. As a teen mom that need only intensifies and as a Special Needs mom there is no limit to the size of your village.
If you are like me and have a strained relationship with your mom, I would also say to try and find an older woman or group of women that have been through what you are going through now.
With the invention of technology that is so easy to do nowadays.
Back then you literally had to walk up to someone and say, hey can you be my friend or hey can you help me with this.
Now with just a click of a button, you can find a group to support you with just about anything you need.
Something that happened to me during my second pregnancy that was super embarrassing was that I got a horrible yeast infection. It itched and burned so badly, I would bleed. The problem was I had never even heard of a yeast infection, much less knew that they were treatable. I just thought this was some awful side effect of pregnancy and I lived with it until my baby was born.
What I wouldn't have given for a woman who had been through it to be able to reach out to.
Hopefully you all will have your mother or a mother figure to help you with all of the awkwardness that comes along with being pregnant.
Don't be embarrassed. Choose to ask the question or share the symptoms. As an older woman now myself, we have all been through it or know someone who has. We are here to help don't go through what I did.
Another thing to remember is that your heart is big enough to love two.
I was so hyper focused on Aaron and what was going on with him, I didn't know how I could possibly give love and attention to a newborn without taking away from him.
I didn't enjoy my second pregnancy much I was just constantly worried.
When I went into labor it was very very scary for me. Would I be enough for both of them? Could I care for the new baby and still give Aaron all he needed? Could I do this alone when their dad got called away for deployment?
The answer to all of those questions was yes.
Unfortunately I didn't figure that out until a few years down the road.
I am ashamed to say that although I definitely met all the physical needs of my second child, I didn't do very well at really truly bonding with her until she was about 3 years old.
Reach out. Ask the questions. If something doesn't feel right ask for advice.
Your babies deserve it and so do you.
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