Dementia Cares

Everybody likes their salad in different ways with different ingredients. Some like a whole bunch of different things on it. Some people just like the lettuce with a hint of dressing. Some people like to change it up at times and some don't like salad at all, it's just not for them.

It's the same with caregiving. It can have many different ingredients. It can be just the one focus. You can change it up from day to day or maybe you just don't want to do it at all. Whatever choice you make is the right choice for you.

For me the base has always been the same but the ingredients are constantly changing.

As we go along we will talk about all sorts of ingredients that have made up my salads and hopefully some of those will help you build yours as well.

Today we are gonna' talk about dementia care.

Caring for an individual with dementia can be extremely difficult but it can also be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life.

I always say. "They give me more than I could ever give them".

This hold true on the daily.

Let me start off by saying I am not an expert by any means. I've learned a lot from my day to day experiences, I've taken a few classes and I've studied with some experts; my favorite being the amazing Teepa Snow, but I am not an expert nor am I giving any expert advice.

I am simply speaking of my experiences.

When I started my career as a CNA I was an old CNA. I was in my early 40s, well past my prime.

I truly fell into this by accident.

I owned a restaurant for about three years until that went belly up.

After we closed I was looking for something to do and one of my son's caregivers suggested I try in home care.

Never in a million years did I expect to really take to the job but I figured it couldn't hurt to give it a try.

I started in home care and realized fairly quickly this wasn't for me.

In this particular position I wasn't able to actually perform cares for my clients. I was more along the lines of a -housekeeper plus-  for them.

I had one client that completely stole my heart and during the absolute last day that I saw her, the day she asked me to call her son because she knew she was dying, I was able to sit with her and care for her.

I knew in that moment that this was what I wanted to do.

I always knew I was meant to be a mom but I felt like there was something more. I just could never put my finger on it.

At 40 years old, because of this amazing woman, I found it.

When I first came to work for her we would go to the grocery store together. As she got sicker she would make me a list and I would go for her. I still have one of her lists that I carry with me in my purse.

She was my inspiration.

As soon as I left her that day, I applied at an assisted living facility. I got the job, got my CNA, got a better job and never looked back.

One keynote here, I also fell into dementia care by accident.

At my first facility there were assisted living units and dementia units. We rotated through the units on a random day to day schedule. A lot of folks fussed and fretted when they were assigned a dementia unit but most did their best and did a very good job down there.

Until this particular day, the aide assigned to the dementia unit was furious.

"I hate it down there, I can not f- ing stand working with those people!".

"Those people" have names and loved ones and hearts and souls.

It broke me to hear her speak that way. I told her there was no way she would be getting near them today or any other day if I could help it. I would go to the dementia unit and she could take my spot in AL. From that day forward the dementia unit became my unit. If I worked, I worked there and I helped all those who fussed and fretted not be quite so afraid.

One of my favorite learning experiences as I mentioned was with Teepa Snow.

We traveled to South Carolina to see her. There were three of us. Myself, my husband- who is a PCA and my daughter who was 15 at the time and has since gone on to receive not only her CNA but her RN/BSN.

Sorry, proud mamma here, had to brag on her a bit.

Anyway, since there was three of us, when Teepa said grab a partner we had an odd man out. My husband and my daughter didn't want to pair with a stranger and since I didn't mind, I told them I would.

I got to partner up with Teepa Snow herself.

It was amazing! I was over the moon. She is truly a celebrity in the dementia world. She has done so much in the lane of teaching caregivers to be better caregivers.

 I learned so much in that one day workshop. Things I still use to this day.

If you go to my Dementia Cares board you will also find my certificates in Person Centered Care.

Again, no expert here but for me, person centered care is one of the most important parts of my job.

Knowing my resident and what they love, what they enjoyed as a child or what they did for a job changes the way I will care for them.

It helps me to connect with them.

It helps me know them as an individual not just a person with dementia.

Every person you come across who is dealing with dementia will have only that one thing in common; they have dementia.

Other than that  they are all completely different, amazingly wonderful, unique human beings. Get to know them and it makes their day to day so much more peaceful. It also makes your job easier.

At 50 years old maybe I should aspire to be more than "just a CNA" but this is the job that was meant for me. I am doing exactly what I should be doing.

I've been at my current place of employment for over 8 years now. Things have changed since I started there but through it all I've had the honor of working with these most amazing residents.

Some will say I'm way too vocal or I speak out too much but everyone in management will tell you, it is all for the love of the resident.

My job, to the dismay of those that love to say it, is so much more than just a glorified butt wiper.

My job is to create moments of joy. They may not remember 5 minutes from now but in that moment they laughed or smiled or loved or felt safe. That is my job.

It is what I aspire to.

It is what I hope my coworkers aspire to as well.

If you don't love them or at least love what you do, this job is not for you.

It fills your heart not your pockets.