Today's ingredient in our Caregiver Salad is something we can reach out and touch.
Humans crave touch. It soothes the soul. It can also soothe the mind. This basic need for human contact doesn't go away just because your loved one gets sick. In fact, many studies show that the affects of gentle caring touch with dementia patients can positively impact their lives in many ways.
However, a dementia resident may go days without a gentle caring touch.
There will almost always be the "let me help you put this on" or the "let me help you brush your teeth" kind of touch. But that's not what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about holding their hand, patting their arm, brushing their hair. The kind of touch that makes someone feel cared about; that makes them feel safe.
When you don't get enough physical touch, you can become stressed, anxious, or depressed.
When you couple this with dementia, these feelings can become magnified.
A dementia patient is already likely to feel sad and scared. As they get further into the disease they may not know where they are or why they are here. They may not understand what a caregiver is trying to do and therefore become afraid.
A simple pat on the arm or taking them by the hand can lead the way without having to say a word. Now they know what you want, they can walk with you and holding your hand can make them feel safe and secure.
Physical touch has also been known to calm agitated behaviors. This may not always work. If a resident is already scared, agitated or feeling cornered and you reach out your hand it may invoke the exact opposite reaction. They may feel attacked and feel the need to protect.
However, if you reach out your hand for a handshake and your loved one or resident returns the gesture you have now given them the option to interact with you. When they get the choice that makes them feel more in control.
Teepa Snow, one of the top dementia educators in the country, has discovered a wonderful way to help your loved one with every day tasks that involves physical touch. Touch can aid communication, through reassurance, without relying on words.
Teepa's technique is called the Hand Under Hand technique. The benefits to this technique go way beyond just letting your loved one know you are there for them.
I'm gonna' let Teepa tell you about it
Physical touch doesn't always need to be person to person.
I have seen amazing transformations in the behaviors of a resident if they are simply able to sit and pet a life like stuffed animal.
These are a couple I have seen used most in different facilities.
(Paid link)
(Paid link)
Let me tell you, these guys can work wonders.
For those of you who are animal lovers, just think of how much petting your dog or snuggling up with your cat can lower your heart rate. Your animals can dry your tears and make the stressors you are dealing with melt away for a while. It is the same for a dementia patient.
I have seen these very cats put to use in facilities. The changes that come over some residents when they are able to just sit and pet Ms. Kitty are phenomenal.
Just like before the disease, everyone you meet with dementia will be different and have different needs:
(Please refer back to my previous post on Person Centered Care)
If mom hated cats all her life, a very realistic kitty cat will probably not lower her heart rate.
Please keep things like this in mind when you are looking for calming methods for your loved ones.
A gentle caring touch can also help with physical discomfort and promote better sleep.
Again, this doesn't always have to be human to human.
Many dementia residents sleep better with a stuffed animal or a doll in their arms. They can snuggle up and by protecting the doll they in turn feel protected.
I understand you may feel like mom or dad is too old to go to bed with a doll or a teddy bear. Some people may think it's demeaning to have their grown up adult loved one taking a doll to bed. At this point in their life and in their disease, try to think about calming comforting care. This may look a lot different than you thought it would look. If it calms the soul and therefore calms the brain for even a little bit, it just may be the right thing to do.
The National Institute of Health and the Alzheimer’s Association list hand massage as another great way to comfort and connect with your loved one.
I used to work with an aide who would come in on her days off to do the ladies' nails. The ladies may not have known her name but they knew she was the nail lady. As soon as she would show up they would be lined up, anxious for their turn. Making that extra effort and holding their hand while she filed their nails and added polish absolutely made their day.
The finishing touch was always a hand massage with some flowery smelling lotions.
The ladies felt like they had been to the spa. Pampered and prepped they smiled a bit bigger the rest of the afternoon.
Kudos to the aide who saw a need and took it upon herself to provide that little added gentle caring touch that made a huge difference in the lives of her residents.
Another great way to provide a gentle caring touch and connect with your loved one is by brushing or fixing their hair.
This one is also on the Alzheimer’s Association's - 50 activities listed above.
I had a resident many years ago who absolutely loved it when I would french braid her hair.
This was a gal who never wanted to sit still for anything but when I did her hair she wouldn't move a muscle.
I have also watched all the fight go out of the most aggressive resident when the hair dresser walked in.
The aides may be having a devil of a time getting her to wash her hair on bath days but when it involves a trip to the beauty salon she is all in.
She is getting so much out of that interaction. Not only does she get to come out of there feeling beautiful but because of all the physical interaction that goes along with a trip to the beauty shop it is likely to jar a long term memory; that memory of having her hair done when she was younger.
This process of doing something they may have done many times in the past can be very calming for them. Long term memory almost always sticks around longer than the short term.
As a dementia caregiver, especially if you were thrown into this due to a familial illness, you may feel like it's all you can do just to keep your head above water. Now here I am asking you to think of yet another thing but truly it all goes hand in hand, literally.
Because gentle caring touch helps your loved one in so very many ways and with so many different feelings, emotions and behaviors it follows that this will make your job as their caregiver easier as well.
Lack of physical touch can lead to feelings of emptiness and loneliness. A 2015 study discusses how feelings of loneliness can weaken cognitive functions such as memory and concentration.
Alzheimer’s is already doing it's best to take these things from your loved one let's not add to that by depriving them of one of the basic human needs; gentle caring touch.
Touching article ❤️
The older we are, the less of human touch we have. As children, we hopefully get loads of touch but as adults, we get less and less. thank you for the reminder that we need to hug and touch when ever we can.